It's Funnier the Second Time
by DemonSurfer
Summary: So if Demyx wasn't dead, and Zexion wasn't dead, then does this mean they have to find everyone else? You betcha. Ch. 7: Finale
1. Demyx and Zexion

I'm taking a small break from Sleepless. I wanted to start work on a fic that starred the Organization members, and this is what I got. Beware, Demyx likes to jump tracks while thinking.

Disclaimer: I'm only saying this once. I own a copy of Kingdom Hearts 2, not the company. I wouldn't be posting at a _fan_ site if I did. And besides, do you _really_ think I could be Nomura-san?

---

Demyx was dead. Maybe.

You had to be alive to die, right? And Nobodies weren't alive. They weren't dead either. They just _were_. Grey blips in a black-and-white world, perceived as a threat from both sides. It was no wonder that the remains of those attacked by the Heartless would band together and try to lead an existence, even if they weren't supposed to exist in the first place

Of course, there had been stronger and weaker Nobodies. The strongest, those with the residual appearance and memories of their past lives, had banded together to lead the weaker creatures. At their peak they had been called Organization XIII, a motley group made up of the original six Nobodies and seven neophytes in the order that they had joined. Demyx was number Nine. The Melodious Nocturne.

The weakest fighter.

He had met his demise by another member's "other", a term he himself had come up with. It was simply the whole that all Nobodies sought, their missing heart. Most had no hope of ever finding their heart. The "other" that had killed him had belonged to the thirteenth member, Roxas, though Demyx couldn't quite remember his name. So he was just Roxas' "other". And he had been killed by him.

He _told_ them they were sending the wrong guy. But they hadn't listened, and so here he was. Dead. Finished. Dissolved into darkness.

Maybe.

Because, he reasoned, if he was dead and gone, then he wouldn't be able to still reason why he was still reasoning. All the Nobodies had supposed that when they died, they would just disappear because they weren't supposed to exist in the first place. Now Demyx guessed that wasn't true, as he was still _here_, wherever _here_ was. Although he wasn't too sure if _he _was all there, as it was pitch black. So dark that he couldn't even see his own body. Part of him even suspected that he didn't _have_ a body, although the question of "if he didn't have a body then what was thinking" made him get confused in four different ways. So he contented himself with wandering aimlessly through the blackness, though he may not be moving at all as there was nothing to mark his progress, no wind against his skin or ground under his feet.

If this was the darkness where Heartless came from, then Demyx couldn't really blame them for going to other worlds. This place was boring. And if it wasn't the Dark Realm but was _in fact_ Hell, well, then Hell was overrated. Of course it could just be a personal Hell, which made even less sense. Demyx figured that his personal Hell would be being tone deaf at a concert. Or eternally being beat on by Axel. Or being forced to watch Vexen streak and ass-rape him. Yeah, that would be it. Ass-rapage by Vexen. Not some big dark inky blackness marauding as Hell.

During his inner musing, Demyx had failed to notice the bright dot that appeared on the supposed horizon. By the time he realized it was there, it had grown large enough to see that it was a large, pink and orange neon sign. As he went the same speed no matter if he thought he was going faster or not, he contented himself with staring at the large words that were mysteriously unreadable until he was almost under them.

_Welcome to Hell!_

Alright, if that was the door to Hell, then where had he spent the last few whenevers of his nonexistence?

Any further train of thought was cut off as he got the sensation of being pushed under the sign out of the inky blackness and into impenetrable darkness.

Joy.

---

"Ow…"

The first thing Demyx realized when he awoke was that his head hurt. The _second_ thing was that he actually _had_ a head, and arms, and a torso that was laying on what felt like some very uncomfortable rocks. This wouldn't be confirmed until he opened his eyes. He did this, and then immediately shut them as the light assailed his senses. Even the dim glow of wherever was too bright for his nonexistent eyes after his stay in the inky blackness. Now he knew why that silver-haired kid that Roxas had fought had worn a blindfold. And here Demyx thought it was just a retarded fashion statement gone stupid.

While he waited for his eyes to adjust to being nonexistent again, he listened to the sounds of wherever he was now. And it wasn't like there were many to chose from. A little far-off screaming, a little moaning, and something very faint that sounded like elevator music. It was Hell after all. He gradually cracked one eye open and when he wasn't sent screaming in agony from the light, opened it and the other one fully. Now he could see just exactly where he was and what he was sitting on that was making his butt go numb.

He was sitting on some rocks near the top of a large, dimly lit cave with a gooey purple river running through it. There was a huge door with green squiggles on it to his right and another with blue squiggles across the room. There also appeared to be a brightly shining gateway that just _screamed_ "gay-ass hero" leading off into who knows where, and a glowing green puddle in the middle of the room. Oh yeah, and the rocks were blue. Gay blue rocks. And lots of gay blue rock dust. Demyx sneezed as he stood up and brushed the gay blue dust off of the back of his pants, almost cracking his skull on a rock sticking out of the ceiling. The place seemed familiar, but he just couldn't quite remember where he had seen it…the musician shrugged and jumped down to a lower rock and closer to the cave floor. Well, _tried_ to jump down to a lower rock.

At least he made it to the cave floor.

So now he was laying on some gay blue rocks, covered in gay blue rock dust, his arm in a probably radioactive puddle, and his nasal bone possibly shoved up into his nonexistent frontal lobe. Yeah, this was an exciting Hell. About the only _torturous_ part so far had been the cheesy elevator music playing from who knows where. It was at boring points like these that Demyx actually missed being in Castle Oblivion. At least there he had his own room and other people to annoy. This place was just…empty. And full of rocks. Gay blue rocks.

He really needed to stop accusing the rocks of being homosexual.

He sat up with a groan and, after making sure it wasn't radioactive, brushed the water off his arm and checked his nose. After finding nothing broken, he glanced back and forth at the two doors. The green door was closer, so he shrugged and walked over to it. The huge stone slabs swung easily, and he pushed one open without any problems and stuck his head inside.

The interior of the smaller cave was lit with a dull red glow that emanated from what appeared to be a fiery lake in the center of the room. Demyx almost expected to see Axel streaking around nearby, but the only thing in the room besides the lake was what appeared to be a lifeguard stand. There was somebody sitting on the stand, and Demyx assumed that he was the "lifeguard", though why you would be guarding life in Hell was a mystery to him. The person was dressed in a blue shirt with palm tree designs and cargo shorts. He appeared to be slightly red in color, and the sunhat on his head was tilted back slightly to expose his horns. He didn't wear any sandals, as Demyx suspected that they wouldn't have fit on his cloven hooves. A long pointy tail stuck out the back of his shorts. Demyx stared for a second before slowly backing out of the cave and shutting the door.

So now he was back in the blue cave. There was still the blue door and the gay Gateway to Light to explore, but the blonde didn't feel like doing that right now. Actually he felt tired. That was confusing as he had assumed that the dead didn't need to sleep, and as he was in Hell he figured that his nonexistent little ass had died. But that didn't seem to be the case, and it made him wonder if the other Organization members had also been floating around the inky blackness and spit out. If that was true then Demyx wasn't to keen on hanging around in Hell and waiting for Marluxia or Axel to show up. There was a price to pay for being the weakest out of a group of heartless beings. But right now he was tired, _dead_ tired, so the idea of the added strain of opening a door to the Darkness wasn't too appealing. In fact, he wasn't even sure if he _could_ still open a portal while dead. He didn't feel like testing the theory now, though.

Demyx wandered over next to the glowing green puddle and sat down cross-legged. It was either that, or sit next to the gooey purple sludgy-thing that thought it was a river. At least the puddle was prettier. He yawned widely and flopped backwards, stretching his legs out and turning over onto his side. He'd deal with all the important shit when he woke up.

Which was much sooner than he liked.

Something scraped the ground nearby and Demyx ignored it, figuring it was probably a lost soul or the lifeguard from earlier. What he couldn't ignore, though, was the hard blunt object that suddenly came crashing into his left eyelid. The startled musician let out a yell, instinctively flailing his arm in the general direction of his left where it connected with something slightly soft. A muffled grunt came from whatever he had hit and he used this momentary break to put some distance between him and the person.

"Demyx."

Demyx froze as he heard his name. Sitting in the middle of the glowing green pool, he turned his head slightly to see behind him and check if the speaker was really who it sounded like. A big, idiotic grin broke out on the blonde's face as he scooted, no _bounced _around so that he was facing the only person that had ever poked him in the eye to wake in up in the mornings.

"Zexion!"

The Nobody was crouched over where Demyx had been laying, a smirk on his face. He looked just as the musician remembered him with one exception; his eyes were closed. The skin around them also looked a little raw, like he had gotten splashed with a weak chemical or something. Yes, that _was_ something Demyx had first-hand experience of, and there was a scar across his left shoulder to prove it. It also made the point not to annoy Vexen while the alchemist was at work. Demyx scooted a few feet forwards and closer to his silver-haired comrade as his boots were slowly being filled with glowing green water. Not like he had anything against the water; it was weird. And it wasn't a good idea to mess with weird things. Like Axel's hair for example. Now _how_ many gel-bottles did he mercilessly slaughter on a daily basis?

"Zexy, how's it been? What happened to your eyes?" The blonde man asked energetically, relieved that he had been found by one of the few Organization members that _didn't_ enjoy beating the shit out of him on sight. At least, didn't expressly enjoy it. The older male's eyebrows narrowed into what was a glare if his eyes were open and he waved a hand in Demyx's general direction.

"Don't call me Zexy." Silence. Zexion sighed. "I can't open my eyes because the light hurts them."

"Oh!" Demyx exclaimed. "That thing! Yeah, it happened to me too. It goes away after a while." Zexion suppressed an urge to hit the younger man.

"So what am I supposed to do until then?" He asked. There was a pause as Demyx thought for a bit. The image of Riku floated up into his brain and he grinned at a sudden idea. Wordlessly he ripped a strip of fabric from the bottom of his hoodie and leaned in real close to Zexion. Before Zexion could react, Demyx had tied the makeshift bandana around the other's eyes and sat back again, a pleased look on his face. He could see his the silver-haired man open his eyes under the blindfold and move them around. "What…the hell?"

"Got the idea from that weird kid that liked to jump Roxas," Demyx beamed. Due to the fibers of the cloth, Zexion could see though it without too much light being let in and hurting his eyes. He looked around the large cavern until a slight ripping noise attracted his attention and he turned back to see that Demyx had pulled another piece of cloth off his hoodie and had tied it across his forehead like a headband. Zexion rolled his eyes.

"That looks stupid on you." Demyx ignored him.

"What do we do now?" The older man bowed his head and thought on Demyx's question. What _were_ they going to do? Zexion was pretty sure that the Superior had been defeated, along with all of the other Organization members. What it _didn't_ explain was why he and Demyx were 'alive' and in a different world. First things first, though.

"We find the Superior," he said softly. "He'll know what to do from there."

"And if he's not alive?"

Zexion glanced up at the blonde. "We'll just have to assume that because we still exist, then so does he. First we need to leave this world." Demyx wrinkled his nose and stood up.

"Good. The gay blue rocks and gay blue rock dust is getting on my nerves," he said. Zexion suppressed a laugh and also stood.

"We can go out that way," He looked in the direction that Demyx was pointing. It seemed to be a kind of staircase leading up into a lot of bright light. The same wrinkle appeared on Demyx's nose again. "Even though it looks just as gay as this place."

---

Wow, that was pretty decent. Alright folks, next time we head to the Coliseum and find another Organization member.

R & R! Yoroshiku, guys!


	2. Lexaeus

Sorry if Lexaeus is a little OOC. I haven't played COM yet.

Wow. I didn't know that the rock line would be so popular. And yes, Demyx _has_ been chased by a lynching mob. Well, now he has. Or will. Why lynching? I live in Georgia. We did lynching, not shooting.

As always, point-outs on gramer/ missing words/ homophones/ mispells is greatly appreciated! I can't think right now, but thank you to whom ever it was that pointed out some stuff from the last chapter. I think. Might be getting my fics mixed up.

* * *

The Olympus Coliseum. The gathering place of all the toughest warriors of the worlds. Strength and endurance were tested in trying competitions called cups, and the champion was a awarded a trophy to gloriously brood over for a whole year. A place of heroes. 

So what the hell was Lexaeus doing here?

True, his title in the Organization had been the "Silent Hero", but he was pretty sure that wasn't what had dragged his undead ass out of eternal darkness. It _certainly_ hadn't signed him up to compete in the Hercules cup. He didn't even know what a Hercules _was_! And here he was, chopping his way though a supposed semi-final and wondering if this was Hell or not. If it was, it was a poor one.

His thoughts were cut short as the last opponent limped off the arena, leaving him standing in the center of the ring with his huge tomahawk on his shoulder. The crowd began cheering wildly as the next fighter stepped up, and Lexaeus could tell he was the favorite. The hero was very muscular, with short orange hair and appeared to be wearing a…dress? Lexaeus adjusted his grip on the tomahawk as the invisible barrier went up around the ring that kept the fighters in and the bystanders out.

At least he knew what a Hercules was now.

- - -

"See? I _told_ you this would be gay!"

Demyx crossed his arms and glared at the sunlit world beyond the safe shade of the doorway. The only reason the harsh light wasn't on him was due to the convenient placement of a pair of huge stone statues on either side of the door. Behind Demyx and Zexion was a long staircase leading down into a purple cloud obscuring the Hell that they had just left. In front was a large courtyard-thing with lots of orange sand and eight burning braziers, four on each side. The opposite wall had yet _another_ pair of huge-ass statues guarding another pair of doors. All in all, it was very heroic looking and very, very gay. At least in a Nobody's opinion.

Zexion sighed and stepped off the shadowed steps and into the hateful sunlight, pupil constricting painfully as the amount of light filtering through the blindfold was increased. The silver-haired man stopped and waited for his eyes to adjust. Behind him, he could hear Demyx curse as he was also temporarily blinded.

"Come on," Zexion muttered, heading for the opposite doors. Demyx muttered something and followed, trying not to get any of the bright orange sand in his boots. It was harder than you would have thought, as the sand seemed determined to invade the comfortably sweaty inside of his shoe with its horrible gritty texture, regardless that the top of the boot was just below his knee. Maybe there were holes in them. Anyway, once the sand got in, it would be almost impossible to get rid of without washing the boot out. While Demyx could do that easily, it wasn't any more fun to walk around in _wet_ shoes than sandy ones. And water made shoes stink.

Demyx yelped as he ran into Zexion's back, the older Organization member having stopped without his notice. He fell on his butt and rendered his past endeavors useless, getting sand in not only his boots but also his pants. Great. Demyx looked up to find Zexion's back to him, the silver-haired man having paid no attention to him what so ever. Instead his attention was fixed on the double doors in front of them, and so Demyx figured that it would be a good idea to follow suit and also stare at the doors like he wanted them to spontaneously combust. Unfortunately only Axel could do that, so the doors sat innocently under the blonde's glare without even a hint of smoke. Oh well. That's what he got for controlling water anyway. But back to the door topic…

Now that he wasn't focused on preventing evil sand from entering his foot space, Demyx noticed the sound of what appeared to be a large crowd screaming. He had only ever heard a large group of people sound that way once, and that made him nervous. The image of a lynching mob, burning torches and various pointy implements in hand floated to the surface of his brain, and the musician made an odd strangled sound that sounded like a cross between a giggle and a choke. Zexion "looked" at him curiously.

"Zexy, they're not gonna come after us, are they? They're cheering for a match, right?" He swallowed nervously, getting up off the sandy floor of the Coliseum and ignoring the scowl he received from Zexion at the nickname.

"What makes you think the people in there will come after us?" the older Organization member asked. Demyx gave him a slightly sick look.

"Experience," he said cryptically. "We need to scram, _now_." Before he could be asked what he meant, the large wooden doors blew open. A figure cloaked in black tore out of the opening, barely avoiding being grabbed by the many hands that reached out fast the doorway. Their angry shouts could be heard clearly now, and Demyx paled a few shades. Nope, he hadn't been wrong at all. Zexion gave a start as he recognized the man in the black robe.

"Lexaeus!"

Lexaeus did an impressive 90-degree turn as Zexion hailed him, using his forward momentum to reach the two fellow Organization members. Demyx had already opened a portal through the darkness and was looking rather impatient to leave. Lexaeus couldn't blame him either.

"Lexaeus, what did you do?" Zexion asked. The brunette was taken off-guard for a moment by the blindfold Zexion wore, but shrugged it off as 'to be explained'.

"I sorta dismembered their greatest hero. Some guy named Hercules or something," Lexaeus admitted, scratching the back of his head sheepishly as Zexion palmed his face. Behind them the angry mob had began to discover that they all couldn't fit through the door at once and had backed off slightly, letting people through the previously jammed exit. Demyx pulled on the back of Zexion's cloak.

"C'mon, let's _go_. _Now!_" The blonde whined. Without any further words the three jumped into the portal and out of the Coliseum.

The mob, having finally moved all its participants outside, was now at a loss as for what to do. The guy they had been chasing was gone. One of the members, a guy named Bob, scratched the back of his head with his knife.

"So now what do we do?" He asked. Mob members looked at one another for an answer. They couldn't _not_ do anything. They were a mob! Mobs had to torch and destroy and kill innocent furry animals! A member in the back spoke up. His name was Steve.

"Meaningless battle!"

The mob members looked at one another and nodded. That would work. With a chorused yell the people fell upon one another in a meaningless struggle for power. At this rate they'd get elevated to riot status in no time.

- - -

Radiant Garden. Formerly known as Hollow Bastion, it had once been ruled by Ansem the Wise and had been a place of prosper and beauty. That is, before Ansem had begun experimenting with the darkness in the human heart and had therefore almost single-handedly become responsible for all the bad shit involving the Heartless and Nobodies. He hadn't done it alone, though. In fact, he wouldn't have even continued his research if not for the urging of his six apprentices. Those six had later become the original six Nobodies.

Yuffie wasn't thinking about that. No, the only thoughts running through the ninja's brain was how the hell she was going to avoid Squall "it's Leon" Leonheart for the rest of the day.

Alright, so _maybe_ throwing a smoke bomb at the gunblade wielder hadn't been the brightest idea she had ever experienced. It was sorta fun at the time, though. And he deserved it!

As a member of the Restoration Committee, Yuffie had a responsibility to the people of Radiant Garden. Meaning that she shirked that duty whenever possible. This particular morning she had woken up, glanced out the window, then abruptly decided that the world wasn't worth it today. Oddly enough, Squall hadn't liked that decision too well, and had come to Yuffie's house with the purpose of dragging her out of the building and forcing her to actually _work_ for once. So was it really any wonder that the half-asleep ninja had reacted with a self-preservation instinct and had lobbed the smoke bomb she kept under her bed in case of such a threat? Squall should just be thankful she hadn't grabbed her Conformer off the wall and chopped his head off with it. Anyways, Squall hadn't taken to the attack very well and Yuffie had barely managed to slip out the window before he grabbed her. Luckily she always slept in a decent shirt and a pair of shorts in case of another event like the Heartless invasion or now if Squall tried to invade her privacy.

So now she was a fugitive. A wanted person in Radiant Garden. And what better place for a criminal to hide out than under the bed? The bed happened to be Merlin's, and it was his house she was hiding in. She wouldn't be found for a while, unless Cid decided to come in and eat his lunch there. The chances of that were highly unlikely and so Yuffie would be able to sleep the rest of the day away in peace. She snickered at her plan before sneezing violently. Hadn't Merlin ever heard of _sweeping_ every now and then?

A loud, meaty thud literally made Yuffie jump and bang the back of her head on the underside of the bed. She let out a little yelp and curled into a semi-fetal position, both hand on the back of her head while she cursed fluently. If Cid could hear her, he would've died of a cigarette-swallowing-induced-heart attack. And if he survived _that_, he actually might've watched what he said around the ninja. Growling, Yuffie scrambled out of her hiding place and grabbed her Conformer, fully intent on beating the bloody pulp out of whatever had scared her.

Where the sound had come from was blocked from view by several stacks of book, making it impossible to see the culprit. No problem. With a loud war cry and a high leap, she closed the distance between her and the origination point. Near the peak of the jump she got a glimpse of her trouble maker, and the fierce expression on her face turned to one of pure shock. It stayed that way as it suddenly and violently met the rough wood paneling of the ceiling.

Yuffie hung that way for maybe one or two seconds, long enough for her face to leave a nice reminding mark. Then she fell to the floor, knocked out cold.

* * *

Actually, the written version for this chapter is up to 15 pages of notebook, or roughly 7 pages of HTML. And it's only around 2/3 of the way done. So I decided to split this chapter into two parts. And besides, this way I can stick to schedule: one member per chapter. 

Thank you to all my reviewers! This fic received an amazing response, and that really helps.

In other news: Kenzie has gotten me hooked on a band called Panic! At The Disco. It's like the techno-alter-ego of Fall Out Boy. I've been listening all night to the only two songs I could download. Check it out!

Next chapter: Xemnas is found, but he's not quite the same…

Review, please! Yoroshiku!(which means until later)


	3. Xemmy

I figured out the perfect way to drink something with ice cubes. Just freeze some of the liquid into ice cubes. Then, fill you glass with the drink of the same kind. Add the cubes and voila! No more watery drinks or inedible ice at the bottom of the glass! Just make sure you don't mix, like soda and Kool-Aid. Unless you like it that way. If you're not drinking the lemonade, don't eat the yellow ice!

Enjoy!

* * *

Xemnas was confused.

First off, he could have sworn that he was dead. He had been killed in the Realm of Darkness by the Keyblade wielders Sora and Riku. Well, at least he _thought_ he had been killed. But the large animate stuffed bear he had woken up to had disagreed with that. Actually, the bear's existence had disagreed with all logic besides zombies and possession, although why _anything_ would want to control a teddy bear was beyond him. The bear had introduced itself as 'Pooh', yet another mystery of the Universe for Xemnas to mull over, though this one was more obvious. Any question was put on halt as Pooh offered him some honey. After that everything became a sugary blur, though somewhere it involved Pooh, more honey, his aerial blades, demonic laughter, stuffing flying everywhere…

He never did like stuffed animals.

Then there had been something involving a whirlwind of paper and he was suddenly sitting on a wood floor being screamed at by a jumping girl. The girl had then hit her face on the ceiling and gone unconscious. Cue the silence.

As the girl didn't appear to be putting up a fight any time soon, Xemnas took the opportunity to find out where he was. Bits of paper were scattered on the floor and stuck to him thanks to the light honey coating he had received. The room as he could see it was dusty and ill kept, with stacks of books in random places and the occasional sock. A tea set sat on a raised pedestal in the center of the area, and a bed off to the right. All in all it was a dump. Xemnas snorted, then sneezed as dust got up his nose. That's it, he was out of there. Standing up, he tried vainly to brush off the pieces of paper and stuffing stuck to his skin. He couldn't pick them off, as they just got stuck to the honey on his hands. When it didn't work he shrugged and went over to the door, pausing for a moment to impudently kick the unconscious girl. She deserved it for yelling at him like that.

Xemnas shrieked as what he had perceived as a limp body moved. Not wanting to stick around if anything even weirder happened, the Superior wrenched open the door in front of him. And ran smack into Leon's legs. The gunblader stared at him in shock, as it was his turn to be confused.

Xemnas was only six years old.

* * *

Something very little known about the Organization's portals through the Darkness was that they only had a 25 chance of ending up at the proper destination. This was because controlling the Darkness enough to be exact took more energy than just jumping in. It was possible to lock a portal into place, as Xemnas had done in The World Than Never Was to make sure none of the Nobodies would have a problem finding it. Still, Demyx usually used the tactic on just jumping in and hoping wherever he ended up wouldn't be worse. Also, if a world hadn't been visited before, there was no guarantee on what it would be like. Axel had an incident involving a lava pit from that. So with all those factors against him, was it really any wonder that Demyx's portal ended up near the castle bailey?

More importantly, the _broken_ section of the bailey.

It took Demyx a total of three second to realize that his portal had ended over empty space. Of course, by then gravity had taken over and he found himself on a quick trip to meet Mother Earth. And Mother wasn't very happy to see him.

So now he was laying on his back wondering if his skull had been cracked open and his brains were leaking all over the dirt and watching the world spin. He was content to stay like that, but then the ground underneath him moved. Squirmed, actually.

"Demyx…get off…"

The blonde started as whatever he way laying on spoke. It took his scrambled and leaking brain a moment to place the voice. Zexion. But why was he under Demyx? Oh yeah, that's right. Zexion had went through the portal before him. Which would mean that he had made it to the ground first, and that Demyx had landed on him.

Ouch.

Without saying anything, the blonde musician rolled off his superior and Zexion took a gasping breath. Demyx wasn't _heavy_ heavy, but it was still hard to breathe when somebody was laying across his stomach. Particularly if that person had fallen on him from over 15 feet up. Regaining his composure, Zexion rolled over onto his hands and knees to better survey the area. Demyx was laying just a few feet away on his stomach and staring contently at his superior, but there was no sign of Lexaeus. Zexion growled under his breath and stood up, brushing himself off.

"Demyx?" The musician glanced at him.

"Yes my supreme taco?" Zexion raised an eyebrow above the edge of the blindfold but otherwise ignored the comment.

"Where the hell are we?"

At this Demyx had to think a little. Sitting on his knees he glanced around at the rubble that was colored his now least favorite color: blue. He scratched behind his ear and glanced up and Zexion, who was tapping his foot impatiently.

"Well, I was aiming for Hollow Bastion, so…I have no clue!" Zexion's eye twitched warningly and he opened his mouth to yell at the blonde, but was interrupted as a piercing shriek cut through the air. To Zexion, it sounded a lot like Demyx if he was on fire, which happened with surprising frequency to a guy who could control water. Demyx got the entertainment of what looked like Zexion screaming like a girl. The screams were moving towards them, on the bailey above. Before either one of the Nobodies could react, something came flying off the stone parapet and onto Demyx. Both he and the thing collapsed back onto the ground.

It was now that Zexion got a good 'look' at whatever the thing was. It appeared to be a kid, around six or seven, with shoulder length feathery white hair. He was wearing a black hoodie, matching shorts and shoes, all of which was covered in tiny pieces of paper and honey. Apparently the fall hadn't injured him at all, as he immediately perched on Demyx's back and started looking around. Zexion gaped as he realized who it was/.

"_Xemnas_!"

"Wha?" Demyx said, disconnecting his head from the ground and attempting to look over his shoulder at the sticky mess sitting on his back. "That's _Xemnas_?" Zexion nodded weakly as the child's eyes darted between him and Demyx. The blonde lifted his upper body a little with his arms to get a better look at the boy, and then he said something that seemed completely random.

"We should call him 'Xemmy'." His Superior and fellow Organization member stared at him like he had grown a head out of his butt. As his arms were occupied with holding up his weight, he had to settle for a small shrug. "What? I just can't think of him as Xemnas, our Superior and all that stuff. He looks more like a Xemmy now." The dubbed glared at him with an offended look.

"Excuse me, but what gives you the right to give me a new name?" He demanded. Demyx shrugged again and the toddler sighed. Sliding off of Demyx, he brushed himself off uselessly and crossed his arms, staring expectantly at Zexion. Demyx moved into a cross-legged position and began an inspection of the gooey mess on his back.

"Zexion, what are you doing here? I thought you were dead," Xemmy said.

"So were you," Demyx pointed out, earning himself a glare from his Superior. Zexion frowned and crossed his arms, adopting a thinking pose.

"We all were. For some reason we're alive again, but all in different worlds. I found Demyx here in Hell, and together we found Lexaeus in the Olympus Coliseum. So, Xemnas, where were you?" The child made a face of disgust.

"In a book with a talking bear," he muttered. Demyx cocked his head and left his back alone for a moment.

"Winnie the Pooh?" He asked. Zexion raised an eyebrow at the question.

"And you know this world how?" Demyx merely shrugged and began pulling bits of paper out of Xemmy's hair, receiving a yell of pain for his efforts.

"Well, whatever," Zexion continued. "For some reason, the world you came to life in changed your appearance, giving you the body of a six-year-old. But why didn't it effect the three of us?" he pondered. Demyx laughed and rocked back a little.

"Don't think too hard; you'll strain your undead brain," he said. Xemmy rolled his eyes and turned to face the Nobody behind him.

"You said Lexaeus was here. Where is he?" Zexion stopped think for a moment and looked around.

"Now that you mention it, where _is_ Lexaeus? He came through the portal with us; he should be here." The blonde shrugged again as Zexion 'stared' at him expectantly. Zexion narrowed his eyes and was about to say something sharp towards Demyx when another shout pierced the air. All three Nobodies looked up to see a man with brown hair and a weird sword standing on the edge of the wall. With hardly any effort he jumped from the lip to the ground in front of the Organization members and whirled around, bringing his sword up into a battle position. The sword was a weird hybrid that looked like a cross between a huge pocketknife and a gun. The Nobodies stared in shock for a moment before Demyx started clapping madly. He stopped when Xemmy hit him on the head.

"Who are you?" the brunette questioned. "And what did you do to Yuffie?"

Zexion titled his head slightly. "Yuffie?"

"Don't play dumb! That kid over there did something to her!" The man yelled, gesturing with his weapon in Xemmy's direction. The child had to think for a moment before he could remember the only girl he had seen so far.

"Oh, the screaming chick. Nah, I didn't do anything to her," he said, waving his hand slightly. The man's shoulders sagged a little as he processed this.

"But…why is she unconscious?"

"She hit her face on the ceiling," he replied calmly. The fighter let his sword drop in disbelief, staying like that for a few moments while Demyx tried not to laugh out loud. After a while he shook his head.

"Sounds just like her. Alright, my name is Leon." Zexion stepped forwards a little.

"Zexion, Demyx, Xemnas," he stated, pointing to each in turn. Demyx stood up and gave himself a once-over, sighing when the results came back disgusting.

"Hey, have you seen a big guy, orange hair, wearing cloaks like these around here anywhere? We've kinda misplaced him," he said. Leon scratched the back of his head.

"No, sorry." Demyx sighed again as Zexion waved his hand impatiently.

"Alright. I need to ask a favor from you. Can you watch him-" he pointed at Xemmy, "-while Demyx and I hunt for our other companions?" Leon thought for a moment before shrugging.

"Eh, sure. I'll dump him off with Aerith." Zexion nodded and turned back to his Superior. Before the boy could open his mouth Zexion held up a hand.

"Sir, this is for your own good. You won't be able to help much in your current body. Besides, you can look for Lexaeus and the others while you're here at Radiant Garden." Xemnas scrunched up his face a little before sighing in defeat and nodding. With that agreement Zexion turned back to Demyx, who was waiting with his hands on his hips.

"Ready to go?" he asked mischievously. Zexion shrugged and uncrossed his arms, opening a portal into the darkness as he did so.

"Sure, whatever. Let's just get this over with."

* * *

And there! Average length taking too long to write because I'm lazy, even though the written version has been complete since the last chapter. Oh well.

Re-inspired due to watching the Demyx Happy Song at Youtube (see it!) and felt like typing. That was due to the fact that I took an Adderall to clean my room and have some attention span left over. It's not ADD; it's a short attention span I tell ya!

Rather dull, don't you think? Next time, we hit with both Xigbar and Axel! And yes Kenzie, you get to appear. Sorta.

'Til next time!


	4. Xigbar, Roxas, and Hairy

Xiggy rocks. Right on up there with Axel, Demyx, and Zexion. Not as bishonen, but he's _cool_. Like Cid Highwind.

* * *

Xigbar was dead. He had been killed by Sora in the World That Never Was. That should have been the end of the story, as being a Nobody he should have ceased to exist. Dissolved away into nothing, never to be seen again. 

Instead he was laying on something hard and rocky while someone poked him in the head with a pointy implement.

Groaning, the Freeshooter opened his eye and glanced around, taking in what he could while his supposedly deceased brain attempted to sort everything out. The rocky stuff was, unsurprisingly, rocks in a funny blue color that Demyx would have instantly dubbed gay. In any case the rocks making up the ground were blue. And the rocks in the walls were blue, and the rocks in the high ceiling of the cavern he was in were blue. The roof also reflected a deep red glow from something else in the room, and judging from past experience Xigbar would have to say it was probably fire related. The poking on head finally stopped and he took the opportunity to sit up. From a better vantage point he could see that he had been right about the fire, which was in the form of a big fiery lake. On its shore was an out-of-place lifeguard station. Why would you need a lifeguard if you were dead?

"Oi."

Xigbar turned and looked over to his right to see the poking culprit. It was obviously a demon of some kind, though still could still loosely be called a man. It had dark red skin, pointed ears, and a long thin tail. Its legs ended in hooves, and a small pair of horns protruded from its forehead. A tall three-pronged pitchfork was in its hand; the pointy end splattered with something dark that Xigbar wasn't too keen on finding out what it was. All that you would expect from a demon. What was really weird was the blue palm tree-print shirt, cargo shorts, and white sun hat it wore, not to mention the large white blob of sunscreen on its nose.

"Yeah?" Xigbar asked, standing up and giving his ponytail a ritualistic tug. The demon lifeguard raised an eyebrow.

"You're supposed to be dead," it commented. Xigbar shrugged.

"So? You're a _life_guard for a lake of _fire_," he pointed out.

"And your point is?" It had him there. "Anyway, have you seen a blonde teenage girl running around down here?" Xigbar fixed it with an one-eyed I-can't-believe-you're-so-stupid look.

"Now how could I do that if I wasn't conscious until you stabbed that oversized salad fork into my brain," the Nobody snapped, crossing his arms. The lifeguard glared at him and without moving a muscle summoned up a portal into darkness.

"Alright wise-ass, get out."

---

In the Olympus Coliseum, things hadn't been going so well for Bob's mob. To put matters simply, they had run out of things to do. There was only so long you could beat on one another before it got old or ugly. So now the mob members were taking a breather while trying to figure out what to do next. Suddenly, the answer came to them like a load of bricks falling from the sky.

Actually, the description wasn't too far off.

Xigbar stood and brushed himself off. Surprisingly he was relatively uninjured, considering the fact that he had just fallen from very high up after the demon had kicked him out of wherever it was. In his opinion, this was a definite improvement. At least he was outside now instead of being inside an evil cave of blue rocks and fiery doom. During this time Xigbar had failed to notice the large crowd gathered in the ruined Coliseum, though his attention was quickly drawn to them when one suddenly yelled at him. "Hey you! You're one of them black-cloaked guys, ain't ya?"

Xigbar glanced down at his hoodie and raised an eyebrow. "Uh, no, this is a clown suit. You guys are just stupid," he said sarcastically, tugging at the fabric.

Another of the mob members leapt to the forefront of gang, pointing an accusing finger at the Nobody. "Don't be pulling any 'mind tricks' on us! We _know_ you're in league with those other guys!"

Xigbar sighed and palmed his forehead. It was like working with Demyx and Marluxia at the same time. "Ok, let's say for all intents and purposes, I do know the guys you're talking about. So what did they do?"

"One of your 'buddies' pulled an axe on our greatest hero, and tore him limb from limb!" The second guy wailed, pointing over his shoulder. There was a guy sitting on the stone steps, his arms and legs taped up but otherwise appearing fine. Xigbar raised an eyebrow at the mob guy.

"But he's alive," he pointed out. The first guy cackled at the sky. "He said he was dismembered, not _dead_! Stupid!" The whole mob began laughing maniacally in an irritating fashion that reminded Xigbar of Axel when his weenies roasted right.

"And there's usually a difference?" Xigbar asked. "Never mind. Look, where exactly did my 'buddies' go?" The mob immediately stopped laughing, and to Xigbar's unease picked up their pointy implements of doom.

"Oh, you ain't going nowhere," the guy with bad grammar said, menacing closer to the Nobody. "You're standin' on our leader, and you're not gonna just jump in them dark portal-things like yer friends."

Xigbar blinked, then glanced down at the man he was standing. "Oops! Didn't notice you down there! Now, you said they jumped in some dark things, right?" With a smirk he waved one hand through the air and opened a portal into the darkness. Giving the mob a quick salute, he jumped into the doorway and out of the Coliseum. Leaving an angry mob to sort out among themselves on just how they were going to punish Steve. And they had a whole selection on pointy implements to use.

---

Destiny Island. After the whole incident with the Heartless and the later similar occurrence with the Nobodies, Sora had found himself on his quiet island home from so long ago. He had also managed to drag back Riku this time, and hopefully they were getting somewhere on trying to boost the silver-haired teen's self-esteem. Sitting in darkness hadn't helped much. Right now, though, the Keyblade wielder was taking a short nap on the beach under the bridge to the small island where the Paopu tree was. It was the only place on the island that had enough shade. Unfortunately, he was interrupted from his nap by a shower of sand that proved that you couldn't trust the weather man.

Coughing and sitting upright, the brunette knocked some of the sand off his face and chest while looking around for the culprit. A flash of something orange and furry attracted his attention, and Sora leapt to his feet with the intent of chasing the whatever-it-was. The thing had buried itself in the sand, leaving only the lightly-colored tip of its tail sticking out. Creeping forwards slowly, Sora sneaked up to where the tail was and gently lowered himself to his knees. Counting to three in his head, he suddenly reached down and grabbed the tail.

And was almost immediately knocked out as the creature leapt out the sand and delivered a roundhouse kick to the side of his head.

---

The first thought Roxas had was that his head hurt. The _second_ though he had was that he was actually Roxas and not Sora.

The former Organization member was laying on something warm and gritty that was also inside his clothes. Around him was the sound of the sea and of seagulls screaming in the air, and Roxas had to guess that he was on a beach. No, not really guess. More like make an educated assumption with a ninety-nine point three percent chance being right. And someone was throwing sand at him.

Clear blue eyes popped open as Roxas decided that he had spent enough time laying around. He was indeed on a beach (five points to himself!), facing a limitless expanse of ocean in front of him. It was then that his head decided to cheerfully remind him that it hurt, and he winced as he put up a hand to touch the painful area. The sand had stopped falling, and he looked around to find the culprit sitting next to his right leg, staring at him intensely.

It was a cat-like creature with orange and cream fur and very deep green eyes. It's mane was bright red, and it gave a little squeak when it made eye contact with Roxas. The thing was sitting on it's haunches now, but the Nobody could tell that it would walk upright. And it was _staring _at him. Shrugging the animal's gaze off, the blonde instead turned his attention to figuring out just where exactly this beach was. However, he was having a hard time focusing as a pair of large green eyes loomed at him from the corner of his vision. Finally he let out a frustrated sigh, rounding on the creature. "What do you want!"

The cat-thing squeaked, frightened by the boy's sudden outburst and falling back on it's tail. Still it continued to stare at him expectantly, like he was supposed to do something. And it was then that Roxas noticed the two small, blue-green marks under each of its eyes, tattooed into the fur and skin below. The Nobody's mouth literally dropped open, and he could have sworn that the creature adopted a smug look as he stuttered.

"_A-Axel_?" It squeaked in response and tackled the Dual Wielder, apparently happy that they both weren't dead anymore. Or were at least together. Roxas stiffened and awkwardly petted the creature's head, finding it very disturbing to think of it as his best friend. After a while it stopped hugging him and scooted back a few feet, giving Roxas back his breathing space. He eyed it warily. "So, Ax, what the hell are you?"

Axel cocked his head and shrugged, squeaking and pointing to his head. Roxas blinked, then realized that he was asking if he was ok. "Yeah. Wait, did you dropkick Sora and knock _me_ out?" Axel stared at him and seemed to consider it. It certainly looked like that's what had happened. Roxas stood and stretched, quickly followed by the cat-whatever Axel was. "Well, we better get outta here before Sora's friends come poking around and find us. Can us still open portals?" Axel glanced up at him, then struck a dramatic pose with one paw flung forwards in an "open-sesame" stance. Nothing happened. Roxas laughed as the creature dissolved into a fit of high-pitched squeals of rage, and the blonde Nobody opened a gateway himself. They both disappeared into the darkness.

* * *

And that's that! Quite a bit shorter than previous chapters, but I didn't have much to flesh out. Sorry. At least we caught up with _three_ characters this time!

What is Axel? He's a moomba. WTF? Moomba?

Yup. Moombas were these cute little creatures in Final Fantasy 8 that look a lot like Red XIII, minus the fiery tail. Just look it up on Google image search. Now, _why_ a moomba? Well I could have turned Roxas into a chocobo, but you see them everywhere. I have _plans_ for a moogle (evil laughter). And besides, did you look them up? They're adorable! In the game itself they make these cute squeaking noises! -loves things that squeak-

Eh, get over it. He's moomba and a very hot moomba at that.

In our next chapter, Demyx and Zexion meet up with Marluxia, who needs to stop drinking the tea…

Until then!


	5. Marluxia

Sorry I haven't been updating or, to tell the truth, even writing on Sleepless. Unfortunately the inspiration for that fic seems to have died. This is what you get from thinking up a 10-minute plot.

-sobs- I mourn my Chrono Cross game. My dad murdered it. And I was on the fourth page of the walkthrough, too! Stupid cursed game...

* * *

Once again the dysfunctional duo found themselves falling from a portal, although this time it definitely wasn't Demyx's fault. Physics seemed to have ignored them this time though, and they were falling very slowly. Eventually they made it to the ground, which was a dead-end round room. Stretching off in front was a crooked hallway decorated with flowery pink wallpaper and many paintings. The floor was made of unevenly sized tiles in orange and brown, making for a very strange combination on whole. Demyx wrinkled his nose up at the décor. "Zexion, why do we keep winding up in places with gay colors?" he asked. The senior member ignored him and instead pressed on into the hall. The hallway ended in a door that revealed itself to be a three-in-one when Zexion pulled open the knob, making the actually doorway somewhat smaller than it had appeared. With a glance back at his companion the Nobody stepped through into the room beyond. 

The room was small with a table taking up most of the floor space. The table had two bottles on it, one with an orange label and the other with a blue label. There was a pair of ugly orange chairs, a very neglected plant, a hole in the wall, and a very, very small door. The doorknob appeared to have a face on it, and Zexion was about to take a closer look when he heard Demyx gasp behind him. "Zex, look up."

The ceiling was what appeared to be another room, with two tables and lamps. After instinctively crouching down, the Nobody realized that the tables were staying where they were without any hint of moving. Almost like they were screwed into the ceiling. Demyx shuddered and went further into the room, going over to the table when he saw the bottles sitting on it. "Wonder what these taste like?" he asked absently. Before Zexion could stop him he grabbed the blue bottle and took a swig out of it.

"Not bad!" He commented, licking his lips and offering the bottle towards Zexion. "Wanna try?" Zexion wrinkled his nose in disgust. "That's had your mouth on it," he said.

"Germs are the least of your problems."

The Organization members whirled around the see a purple and pink striped cat sitting on the table. Its face was stretched into a grotesque grin, and it was balancing the orange bottle on one foot. Zexion heard Demyx mutter something about gay cats under his breath.

"Nobody you know is here, but they were apprehended by the queen." It said. "You could always visit them, but you have to get smaller to go through." At this point it picked its head up off its body and stood up. Demyx let out a startled yelp and scooted back a few feet, but Zexion hid his surprise. He had heard of the Cheshire Cat before and was thus only _slightly_ freaked out by the thing's antics.

"How do we get smaller?" he asked it. The cat juggled its head back and forth between its paws before pointing at Demyx, who let out another yelp. "That one's already taken the first step, though if you want to follow you can't mind germs. They're really not that bad, compared to the alternative. You could wind up wearing a dress." With that the cat began to disappear, leaving its grin behind before it disappeared too. Both Nobodies stared at the place where it had been before Demyx let out a groan and palmed his forehead. "What a roundabout way to tell us that this stuff will make you shrink," he said, looking at the bottle oddly before holding it out to Zexion. "Here."

The Nobody took the bottle and chugged the contents, making a face at the taste. He sat it back on the table, waiting for something to happen. What happened was a sudden change in perspective and an uncomfortable feeling of vertigo before Zexion found himself standing at an impressive 5 and a half inches on the floor. Next to him, Demyx was already messing around, trying to scramble up onto a nearby chair. When he couldn't make it, he turned back to Zexion. "So now what?"

"I guess we go through there," he replied, gesturing towards the gaping hole to the left of the door. Demyx stared at it for a total of maybe two seconds before flailing his way into the darkness. Leaving Zexion to stare at him and the new use of the word "flailing".

---

The first thing that Zexion noticed when he came out of the dark tunnel was that he was standing in a hole in a hedge (needed that like a hole in the hedge). The second thing was that there were several sharp implements pointed at his trachea, bowels, and kneecaps. The weapons were held by what looked like sentient forms of Luxord's cards, only dumber. He could see Demyx in a similar predicament, only with his esophagus, liver, and spleen in jeopardy. One of the black cards, a three of spades, gestured violently with his spear, forcing Zexion to scoot back a few inches to save his left kidney from a very violent and painful demise. "You are accused with trying to steal the Queen's body parts and are sentenced to immediate decapitation!"

From further up Demyx made a squawking noise, like a duck being stepped on. "What? But we just got here!" Another squawk led Zexion to believe that Demyx was now dealing with a ruptured spleen. "Well don't we get a trial or something?" he whined. The cards exchanged glances before a nine of diamonds put down his spear and made a hand signal. Before they could react the two Nobodies found their arms bound behind their backs and a bunch of spears jammed into their butts. Fortunately the distance they had to march was only about twenty feet, and the duo were forced up onto a witness stand staring directly into the face of something uglier than Saïx after a drinking night.

It had two beady little eyes peering out of flabby fold of flesh. Its hair was pulled back into a tight bun, which wasn't helping its appearance any. Meaty slabs of arms were folded on its lap, and one sledge-like hand gripped a scepter like it was the center of the universe. It was hideous. It was horrible. It was _female_.

"Now presenting the Queen of Hearts to serve as the persecutor, judge, and jury of this court!" Bellowed a rather small and elderly white rabbit. Demyx tilted his head with a confused look on his face.

"Don't you mean prosecutor?" he asked. The large woman banged her scepter on the stand in front of her.

"Silence in the court!" She yelled, glaring at the two nonexistent. "You two," she pointed the scepter at them to emphasize, "are hereby convicted with trying to dismember _me_!" Something about what she said rang a bell for Zexion, and he stepped forward slightly.

"Dismember?" He asked. "Your Royal Highness, please excuse my companion." The queen sat back a little, obviously pleased by the comment. Zexion continued. "Did you by any chance see what you were almost dismembered with?"

"Of course I saw! It was a fruity pink scythe!" She screamed. Demyx exchanged a glance with his partner.

"Definitely Marluxia," he said. Zexion nodded and turned back to the enraged queen. "I must apologize, but we really must be going. Court dismissed!" The bonds tying the Nobody's hands suddenly fell away thanks to a handy dark blade. With a cocky grin and a flourish Demyx summoned his sitar and a few water clones. While the cards were busy with the clones, they made their escape.

---

"So, we know Marluxia is here, we just don't know where."

The two were outside the "courtroom", staring at a huge forest of tall grass and mushrooms. Well, at first glance it appeared to be a forest, but closer inspection revealed it to be a room. The sky and boundaries were painted on. Demyx sighed and crossed his arms, glaring at the obstacles like it would make them go away. "Wish we knew where to go," he mumbled.

"Be careful what you wish for!" a familiar voice called from over to the duo's right. Demyx restrained his shriek this time and settled for a small squeak at the cat's appearance. Like before, Zexion showed no reaction.

"Do you know where Marluxia is?" he asked instead. The cat did a little dance on its head.

"Maybe. But unless you like crazy hat's with your military hare I suggest you forget about joining the tea party," it said. Zexion exclaimed a loud "what?" just as Demyx protested "but I don't have a buzz cut!" The two looked at one another as the cat began laughing. "You could have fooled me!" It cackled as it began disappearing again.

"Dammit. I hate that thing," Demyx whined, crossing his arms and staring sulkily into the oversized forest. "So, that didn't help us at all. Now what?" Zexion shrugged and started forwards into the forest.

The two quickly discovered that if the tall grass was meant to be a maze, it was a very poor one. Just a few turns here, a few turns there, and the two were facing another gaping hole in the wall. Demyx tried to look through it, but could see nothing. With a shrug and a glance back at Zexion, he went through.

The first thing Zexion knew was that there was someone singing, rather horribly. Kind of like Demyx when he was drunk. The room was also painted to look like the outdoors, though it was much smaller. A long table sat in the center of the room, ringed by seven armchairs, all of them old and worn looking. Three were occupied. One on the left contained a short man with a large nose and stiff white hair sticking out from beneath a large green top hat that had seen better days. He was across from a very unstable looking brown rabbit. Both were passing tea around and singing something very off key. The Nobody assumed that they were the "military hare" and "crazy hat" the Cheshire Cat had been talking about. Zexion couldn't see the third person because they were sitting in the only chair with its back to the entryway. It was also singing very off key, though he couldn't tell the gender thanks to the others drowning them out. He coughed to get their attention.

The rabbit and the hat-man looked up and immediately after seeing the two, screamed and jumped into a nearby _painting. _If it weren't for the very world he was in he would be more disturbed. Ignoring the two peering out of their picture like it was a window, the Nobody instead approached the only person that hadn't moved. They were still humming a tune as he reached them, and Zexion placed a hand on their shoulder. The person yelled, leaping up and spinning around in surprise, giving the two a good look. And they were knocked speechless.

The person was Marluxia. But not how they remembered him. For one, he was wearing a short, mid-thigh length dress in a slight Victorian style. The majority of the dress was dark red, with black ribbons around the arms and hem. The chest was corset-like and white, laced with more black ribbon. He also wore a pair of lace-up black stilettos and black stockings, making for a very sexy look. Which was a good thing, as the outfit would have looked very disturbing on a man.

As soon as Demyx found the controls for his voice again, he hit the little red button and stammered out a weak "wow." Zexion just nodded dumbly, still in shock. Marluxia's dark blue eyes narrowed slightly and she glared at them. "What the hell are you two doing here?" she asked in a disturbingly still masculine voice.

"We're, uh, we're here to rescue you!" Demyx said proudly, trying hard not to stare at his transgender comrade. Marluxia sighed and scooted the pink armchair she had been sitting in around so that she could face the other two Nobodies. Sitting down, she crossed her legs and propped her chin in her hands dejectedly.

"Great. Fabulous. So, what's up with the blindfold?" she asked, raising a pink eyebrow at Zexion. "Some retarded fashion statement?"

"What's up with the sex change?" He countered, crossing his arms and glaring at the Nobody. Marluxia leapt to her feet and almost snarled at Zexion.

"I don't know, okay! I just woke up like this after _those two_ poured hot tea on my _head_!" She yelled, pointing an accusing finger at the portrait and the two creatures hiding inside it. They ducked down below the frame and Marluxia stared expectantly at her superior. "So, what the hell happened to me?"

Zexion shrugged. "I'm not sure. Both of us woke up in Hell before finding Lexaeus." He pointedly 'glared' ate Demyx. "Before losing him in Radiant Garden."

The blonde rubbed the back of his head apologetically. "Hey, we found Xemmy! That's gotta count for something!" Marluxia stared at the two in obvious confusion. "Xemmy?"

"The Superior. Thanks to the world that he appeared in, he was reduced to the age of six," Zexion supplied. Marluxia huffed and looked off, crossing her arms angrily.

"Bet it's better than this," she huffed. "So, the world we revive in has an adverse effect on us, as the last thing I remember was being in nothing. Now what?" Marluxia asked, glancing back and forth between her two higher-ranked fellow Organization members. Demyx shrugged and replied, "We're still hunting for everyone else. Wanna come with?"

Marluxia sighed and rolled her eyes. "Sure, whatever." Zexion opened a portal and the three stepped through.

* * *

Tada! Chapter five finished! 

As stated previously, I haven't played COM yet, so I don't know if Marluxia sounds masculine are not. Originally Marluxia was supposed to be more emotional, but when I wrote it I was in a more venomous mood. Maybe she'll freak out in the next world? And who all likes Marly's particular thing?

'Til next time!


	6. Larxene

I was plodding my way along writing this chapter and reading emails when I received an anonymous review from someone named CBK. Please people, login so that I can correct you through a PM instead of having me publicly humiliate you on my Author Notes. CBK, I know Marluxia is a boy, I just turned him into a girl for this fic. It was to be funny! That, and I imagined that neat dress for him. -grin-

I'm sorry if anything is off in Halloween Town; I don't have the game with me to check where everything is located.

---

Larxene was confused.

Even though she had been Organization XIII's only female member, the Savage Nymph wasn't one to be underestimated. Quick to pass judgement with her kunai, she had gotten a reputation as one not to be messed with, especially if she was reading. Larxene had merely seen it as a way to hold her own against the rest, as she had been number 12.

Still, it could be counted as a bad decision on her part when she had joined forces with Marluxia in an attempt to use Sora to take down Xemnas. A very bad decision that had cost her life.

So where was she now?

Larxene stood in the center of what appeared to be a town square of some kind, right in front of a fountain full of green goo. All around flitted ghosts and ghouls, chanting and yelling as they prepared for something. Banners were being hung, a stage was being set up, and some kind of annoying music was issuing from somewhere. As she glanced around, her left hand brushed the stone fountain absently. There was a small _plip_ as something dropped into the water, and the Nymph glanced down in time to see her pinky finger floating just under the surface.

Larxene shrieked and jumped back, almost hitting a passing ghoul. She stared at the stump on her hand in a stunned daze while part of her brain clamored that there was no pain. It didn't _feel_ as though she had just had a digit chopped off, and a closer inspection revealed why. Her body appeared to be stitched together like some kind of Bride of Frankenstein, although all of the parts seemed to be hers despite their odd coloring. Just to make sure, she grabbed her left ring finger and tugged it slightly. It came off in her hand with only a minimum amount of resistance. Larxene stared at it for a moment, then walked back over to the fountain and retrieved her other finger. Holding the two severed digits in the hand they came from and determined to get some answers, she walked up to the nearest "living" thing that was holding still. "Hey-"

"Hello! I've never seen you before!" The "person" turned out to be an extremely tall skeleton in a tattered suit. He bent over to look the Savage Nymph in the face. "Are you here for the contest?"

"Contest?" she answered, raising one blonde eyebrow. "What contest?"

The skeleton stood up again, gesturing with his arms as he spoke. "Why, the contest to be the Pumpkin King, of course!" He exclaimed. "By the way, my name is Jack Skellington. And you are…?"

"Larxene. Look, I don't care about any stupid contest. Where the hell can I get some fingers reattached?" Larxene asked, very much aware on how weird she had just sounded. The skeleton-man didn't seem to find the question odd at all, crossing his arms and adopting a thinking pose. Larxene figured that random body parts falling off wasn't too uncommon in this world. Weird.

"Sally might have some extra thread you could use," Jack said, glancing back at Larxene. "Why don't you go ask her? She's probably over in Dr. Finklestein's lab," he pointed one bony finger towards an ominous and gloomy building. "Well, I'd best be off! Enjoy your time in Halloween Town!"

---

"Ok, where are we?"

Zexion lifted up his head to "glare" at Marluxia, arranging his blindfold with one hand as he did. Behind him he could hear Demyx spitting and guessed that the younger Nobody had taken a mouthful of dirt. The three were in a graveyard surrounded by several tall tombstones silhouetted against a harvest yellow moon. Around them were the sounds of shrieking and screaming, along with an annoying musical tune issuing from somewhere. Demyx spat again and sat up, glancing at his companions.

"Why have our landings have gotten worse since we came back from the dead?" He asked irritably. Marluxia shrugged and stood, brushing dust off of her dress as she did so.

"Does it really matter? Let's find out where we are first before trying to figure out the secrets of the universe," she said with a smirk. Zexion nodded his agreement and stood up as well while Demyx sulked a little. "I'm just tired of eating dirt, that's all," he whined, brushing against a tombstone as he started walking to catch up with the other two. The tombstone rocked back on its base and, almost like a conscious decision, pitched forward towards the Nobody. Demyx yelped and jumped out of the way as the stone crumbled on the ground. Zexion and Marluxia turned to glare at the blonde, but they didn't get a chance as another headstone began to rock, knocked off balance by the first. Before it could topple too, the three took off running for the heavy iron gates that marked the entrance to some kind of town square.

Demyx suddenly tripped and fell, his face in an expression of "Oh, shit." As spoon as he hit the ground, though, he scuttled forward like some kind of bug, going through the gates just as the last tombstone fell. As soon as she regained her breath Marluxia glared at Demyx. "Great going there. Why don't next time you accidentally cause the Apocalypse instead?" The blonde leapt to his feet.

"Why don't I cause _your_ Apocalypse right now?" he yelled, summoning his sitar. Marluxia just stared at him while Zexion palmed his forehead.

"Demyx," he said, "That was really, _really_ bad." Marluxia nodded in agreement.

"Hey, it was short notice!" Demyx defended himself, his face turning red from embarrassment. He looked to Zexion in hope of getting a little support, but the Nobody wasn't paying him any attention at all and was instead staring transfixed at the Square.

The Halloween Town square was in a state of chaotic panic that only a Nobody could miss. Forgotten decorations were trampled into the ground as the world's inhabitants rioted. Only the ghosts appeared unconcerned, and there was even a ghost dog that looked like a tissue barking at a stage on the other side of the square. It was from this stage that the people were running, and it was the _person_ on the wood construction that held Zexion's attention. Silhouetted against a wall of orange flame, Organization XIII's Savage Nymph was talking to a skull. And it appeared that the skull was talking back. Larxene looked as though someone had carved her up for meat then changed their mind and sewn her back up. Various patches of skin were also discolored, making for an odd Frankenstein appearance. A kunai was in her hand, and Zexion wondered where the others were.

He found them a very short distance away, imbedded up to the grey-blue ends in a large Jack o' Lantern. A blood-like substance dripped around the weapons and a few gears and springs poked out of its mouth. Slumped in front of the pumpkin was a tall, headless body in a tattered suit that Zexion guessed belonged to the skull in Larxene's hand.

The Nobody turned back to his companions, relived to find that they had ceased fighting. Instead Demyx was staring at their fellow Nobody with a look similar to the one he had given Marluxia. Marluxia, on the other hand, looked extremely pleased with finding her former partner and the destruction said partner had caused. "Larxene!" Marluxia called, starting off into the panicked crowd. Demyx and Zexion had no choice but to follow.

Larxene's head shot up when she heard her name called, and her jaw literally dropped as Marluxia came into sight. The Graceful Assassin smirked and crossed her arms, waiting for Larxene to regain her composer. Finally the blonde managed to say a weak, "Marluxia?"

"In the flesh, babe," she replied, just as Zexion and Demyx came up. Demyx gave her an odd look as Larxene jumped off the stage. "What's with the dress?" she asked Marluxia.

"What's with the autopsy?" he shot back. Demyx groaned. "Do we have to do this every time we meet up?" he asked, earning a "glare" from Zexion. Larxene raised an eyebrow at her superior's fashion statement. As she opened her mouth he held up a hand to stop the inevitable question. "It's a long story. Why are you holding a skull?" he said. She glanced down at her hand like she just remembered that she was holding the thing.

"This? Meet Jack Skellington," she said, offering the skull out towards her fellow Nobodies.

"Hello!" Jack said cheerily. Demyx shrieked and jumped back several feet. Marluxia burst out laughing, causing the blonde to glare at her angrily. Zexion raised an eyebrow at Jack's head. "Why do you have his head?"

"I accidentally cut it off," she said with a small shrug. "I was trying to kill that pumpkin-thing over there."

"Why were you trying to kill that pumpkin?" Zexion asked.

"Because it was playing very annoying music," she replied. This Zexion could understand. One sure-fire way to become instantly annihilated was to play or _be_ really annoying music. The Cloaked Schemer had a suspicion that this came from having to listen to Demyx's sitar and Axel while he was drunk. Another thing that really got on Larxene's nerves was Xigbar stealing her favorite panties for "fruity pirate hats" on game night.

There was a reason the Freeshooter was missing an eye.

"You know," started Jack. "I've never noticed it before, but the air's so much clearer since you destroyed that thing." Larxene gave the skull a contemptuous look. "Maybe it's because you don't have ears," she suggested. And with a casual movement, tossed the head over her shoulder and into one of the fires on the stage. The three male Nobodies stared at her as she cracked her knuckles while the sound of agonized screams filled the air. "That's always satisfying," she said simply. Marluxia stared at her for a moment more before breaking out into her own evil grin directed at Demyx. Zexion intercepted the look and sighed.

"No Marluxia," he said. "You can't throw Demyx over into the bonfires as well."

"Shoot…." Marluxia whined, and Demyx jumped visibly.

"Hey, don't I get a-" Whatever Demyx had been going to say was instantly cut off as a large and very unexpected portal opened up in the ground beneath the Nobodies. There was enough time for Demyx to let out one short scream before they were plunged into the darkness.

---

On a beach on an island in a world far, far away from any sort of importance to the Nobodies, Riku and Kairi were looking for Sora. Their friend had disappeared almost an hour before, and now they were trying to find wherever it was that he was napping. Finally Riku spotted Sora, or rather Sora's legs sticking up out of a sand dune.

"Looks like Sora's been sand-diving again," he commented, pointing the appendages out to Kairi with a smirk on his face. The redhead sighed.

"You'd think he would have learned not to do that by now," she said, shaking her head and running after Riku towards their friend. Sora was already sitting up and looking around with a dazed expression on his face. Bits of moist sand clung to his hair and the swollen right side of his face. Riku laughed and crouched down in front of the brunette. "You learned not to sand-dive yet?" he asked with a smirk on his face. Sora spat some sand out of his mouth and glared at Riku.

"I wasn't sand-diving!" he yelled.

"Oh really?" Riku replied, straightening up with the smirk still on his face. "Then why were you buried headfirst in the sand? Hunting for clams with your mouth?"

"No!" Sora yelled again. "I was attacked! By this little furry orange-thing." Kairi sighed and shook her head.

"Sora, you probably it your head on a rock while sand-diving. Which you shouldn't do," she said.

"I wasn't sand-diving!" he defended himself, glaring at Riku. The teenager waved his hand in a dismissive gesture.

"Sure you weren't. Now, let's go do some _water_ diving. And please feel free to yell if you see anymore of your orange furry things," Riku teased, running off towards the dock. Sora yelled and scrambled up after him, all the while promising to dunk his head under a rock if he caught him.

And so ended another picturesque day on Destiny Islands.

---

And may we never have to visit them again! Whew! The Destiny Islands bit was a "bonus feature" added to lengthen this chapter. Anybody enjoy Jack's fate? I know I did. Wasn't what was written, but it sure was cooler!

Ok, there's a credit in this chapter. The "fruity pirate hats" bit was in reference to the artist psycrowe and her Xemnas Reports at deviantART. Check them out, and laugh your ass off. There's also a hidden spoon in this chapter!

Alright boys and girls, stick around for another month or so, cuz the next chapter's the last. Yes, the _last_. There will be a sequel, though. Check it's description in my bio and share your thoughts on the idea of having a sequel.

One final thing! On my four-year anniversary here at FF (Sept. 29), I will be changing my pen name from DemonSurfer to ThePuppetMaster. I feel like I've outgrown the name DS, the writer of incomplete YuGiOh fanfics and other odd/stupid things. Gaining a new name will hopefully help me get a fresh start on fan writing with all of the stuff I know now. Yay.

Next time we get with Vexen, Saïx, and the PIT.

Review and I love you forever!


	7. Finale

For those of you that've stuck with me, we're at an end. For those of you who are picking this fic up for the first time, we're still at an end. You just missed everything. Tough luck for you.

This chapter has been brought to you by Johnny the Homicidal Maniac and my new obsession with it. Yay insanity!

* * *

Vexen was very, very confused.

Only moments before the Chilly Academic had been floating in an infinite void of nothing. Then there had been a kind of imploding popping feeling, and suddenly he was standing in some kind of night club with his head brushing the ceiling and something ramming into his legs, stomach, and chest every two-point-five seconds.

The Nobody coughed as a round, slightly squishy object hit him in the stomach. On reflex he grabbed it, then squinted his eyes and tried to see what it was through the flashing strobe lights. It looked kind of fuzzy, and seemed to be some sort of antennae-like attachment. Naturally Vexen's eyes followed the appendage down to its owner, the owner being very irritated by it's pompom's capture. With an angry "Kupo!" it jerked the object out of Vexen's hand and disappeared back into the roiling crowd of the same species. It took the Chilly Academic only a moment to figure out that he was stuck in a room full to the brim with moogles. By the smell of it, intoxicated moogles.

One such drunken creature stumbled up to Vexen and attacked his leg with a happy "Kupo!" All around the pit other moogles were doing the same thing to one another. As the full realization of where he was dawned on him, Vexen kicked the leg-attacking moogle hard and watched as it sailed clear across the pit. "You're pretty good at this, kupo…" it mumbled before passing out in a drunken stupor. The Nobody ignored it, having other things to worry about.

Like the fact he was trapped in a moogle-mosh pit, for starters.

---

"Tee-hee! What's wrong Mr. Grumpy-Face?" Rikku asked for what seemed like the forty-second _millionth _time. The blonde sprite flitted dangerously close to her torture victim of the day, giggling when he growled and tried to grab her. She easily flew out of arm reach and closer to her cousin. Yuna was laughing as well as Rikku's victim lost his balance and almost toppled off the tarp covering on the wooden stall, his wings snapping open to prevent him from falling. As soon as he was seated comfortably again, the other sprite continued glaring at the two females. The scowl brought the X-shaped scar on his face down into an ugly expression, and the wings on his back flicked irritably. Rikku and Yuna both giggled in unison.

The sprite, as it turned out, was a Nobody. Saïx, to be exact, and he was in a rather bad mood. This was most likely due to the fact that he was six inches tall, stuck in Radiant Garden, and being hounded by a pair of deranged sprites. The great big blue and brown butterfly wings on his back didn't do anything to help matters, either.

At least the blue matched his hair.

Saïx's eyes narrowed as the girls giggled again, focusing his glare on the blonde that was by far the most annoying. Worse then moogles or even Xigbar. Well, maybe not _as_ annoying as Xigbar, at least not when he had a toy gun to play with. Then the Nobody was unbearable, using his ability to manipulate gravity to pretend he was a spy or something. The entire Castle became his own personal spy movie, complete with his own theme music. It was during on of those days that Xigbar had decided that Saïx was the "bad guy". Saïx smirked to himself. At least Number Two would never mistake the X-shaped scar on Saïx's face for a target ever again.

The smirk fell from his face as the blonde slut-sprite flew into his line of vision, giggling like an insane goblin. One blue eyebrow twitched and he summoned his Claymore. The sprite was starting to really get on his nerves, and he wanted to be ready when he snapped. Too often a victim had escaped due to the time delay in summoning his weapon, and he really didn't want that to be the case this time. A third sprite with whitish hair joined the other two from her place against one of the pit walls. There was a frown on her face and she glanced at Saïx worriedly.

"I think we should look out girls. Mr. Grumpy is starting to become Mr. Creepy," she said, giving him a look. Rikku giggled again and shook her head, flying in closer to Saïx and disregarding the Claymore in his hand.

"Aw, don't be mean, Paine!" She giggled shrilly. "He's just a blue-haired Mr. Grumpy-Face with a big blue Popsicle stick! Aren't you?" Green eyes met gold as she pressed her face in close to Saïx's. He recoiled and her grin grew even wider.

"Hey, you mind doing me a favor?" he asked. Rikku nodded innocently and Saïx's smirk returned. In one smooth motion he lifted the weapon and pressed it to her throat, the blades on the end emerging a second later. "That's good," he said. "Now shut the hell up."

---

Xemnas tried and failed to hold back a short laugh, marveling at his own abilities. The Nobody stood on a flat area behind a building, overlooking Radiant garden's marketplace. It had taken him only moments to escape his appointed babysitter, and now he was waiting for any signs that another member of his Organization had appeared. If one group had come, then there was a very good chance that any of the others would also show up, most likely with some form of chaos. He wasn't disappointed.

A shrill, female scream startled Xemnas and almost caused him to fall off the roof. He recovered quickly and made his way towards the source, the source being a large pit-like area in the center of the marketplace. Strangely enough, when Xemnas drew close he noticed that there was nobody standing near. Almost as if they had ran away or something. Xemnas shrugged it off and jumped down into the pit, almost losing his balance when he hit the bottom. His left foot had landed in something bright red and slippery. After regaining his balance, he looked around to find that the entire pit area was covered in the liquid. There were small puddles and smears leading near a tool-shed against the opposite wall, and a fine mist on the ground near that. The screaming had stopped.

Xemnas glanced at the carnage briefly, none of it really attracting his attention as he instead looked for the culprit. The culprit wasn't too hard to find, as he was sitting on the edge of the tarp over the tool shed cleaning his weapon, a satisfied smirk on his face and a stained yellow scarf around his neck. Xemnas groaned and palmed his face. Just like Saïx to keep a souvenir.

Saïx was happily cleaning up his weapon when he heard his name called by someone. Looking up, the sprite almost fell off his perch when he caught sight of his fellow Nobody and former leader. The Claymore fell from his hand and disappeared as Saïx stared in stunned silence at Xemnas. The silence didn't last very long, and a grin began to break out on Saïx's face. The grin grew and in a moment the Nobody was almost rolling on the ground with how hard he was laughing. Xemnas pouted and crossed his arms, waiting until his second in command had sufficiently recovered enough to speak. By the judge of things, that would take a while.

"You're-you're a k-kid!" Saïx managed out, still laughing fit to burst. "A midget!" Xemnas made a growling noise and tapped his foot angrily. He stopped when a thought came to him, his face instead breaking out into a smirk that was extremely disturbing on a six-year-old child.

"So? You're a bug," he stated, almost condescendingly. That made Saïx shut up, and the sprite glanced up irritably.

"Am not," he sulked. "I am a sprite." Xemnas raised an eyebrow and approached the tool shed, being careful not to slip in the red goo. "What's all this goo from?" he asked Saïx. The sprite's expression instantly shifted from a sulk to a more-than-slightly insane grin, and he ran a hand down the scarf around his neck.

"Well," he started. "There were these annoying sprites that wouldn't leave me alone. And one of them was a slut that decided it would be a good idea to invade my personal bubble. So I taught them that a person's personal space should be respected," he finished, a somewhat bloodthirsty-dreamy look on his face that only Saïx could achieve. Xemnas wrinkled his nose and frowned at the red puddles. It was just like Saïx to go on an insane killing rampage for no real reason. After all, he did control the Berserker Nobodies. And some people pegged Axel as being the most violent of the Organization. There was a reason Xigbar had scars all over his face and refused to come within thirty feet of Saïx.

A sudden loud crash startled both Nobodies, causing Xemnas to almost fall into one of the red puddles as an explosion rocked the ground. Saïx was saved from a similar fate thanks to his blue butterfly wings. Without a word the two exchanged a glance, then Xemnas scrambled out of the pit and they both headed for the source of the noise.

Where there was chaos, there was probably a Nobody.

---

Vexen coughed into his hand as he stumbled out of the wreckage that has once been a building, eyes watering at the smoke. Once clearing the zone of devastation he turned to survey the damage and winced at what he saw.

The entire front half of the building had been ripped away, along with a good part of the roof. A sign reading "Club de Kupo" lay partially buried under the mountains of rubble, along with several moogles. Some were moaning a little, but most were too drunk to even realize what had happened to them. One of the few still-intact tables was on fire. Vexen winced.

He hadn't _really_ meant to cause such a big explosion. He had just grown tired of trying to find a way out of the badly lit, smoky room. Having drunk moogles come up and hump his leg like spring loaded rabbits on crack hadn't been helping any. Vexen just hadn't been able to take it anymore.

It wasn't as if it had been hard to blow the building up, either. Just a flick of the wrist, a hastily erected ice barrier, and the handy application of a vial of purple goo to a nearby light. The good had been a compound specially made by Vexen himself that would explode on being heated even a few degrees. This assured that the "Chilly Academic" would be the only one to ever use it.

Vexen sighed as another section of the building came crumbling down, further obscuring the club sign. There was a muffled "Ow!" as the debris hit a moogle. Oh well, it wasn't as if there was anybody to hold it against him.

"You certainly did a number this time," commented a dry and very familiar voice from behind him. Vexen whirled around to face the culprit, and almost fell as he stared at his Superior with an open-mouthed expression. Xemnas wasn't the only one being stared at, though Saïx was too busy poking an unconscious moogle to pay much attention to his comrade, the yellow scarf around his neck standing out in horrible contrast to his hair. Vexen shook his head a few times and rubbed his eyes, as if to see whether he was hallucinating or not. As it became apparent that this wasn't some sort of smoke induced vision, he stumbled over to the other two Nobodies.

"What _happened_ to you two?" he blurted out, unable to keep his eyes off the now shrunken state of both Saïx and Xemnas. It was Xemnas that chose to answer allowing Saïx the freedom of floating off to do whatever.

"It was where we came back to life at. It affected our bodies somehow. I resurrected in the 100 Acre Wood as a child, and Saïx was apparently surrounded by sprites," he explained, crossing his arms as Vexen absorbed the information. "We aren't the only ones alive again, either. I've seen Zexion and Demyx again so far, though there could be others." Vexen nodded in agreement.

Meanwhile, Saïx had wandered over to the rubble of the building. Becoming a sprite seemed to have messed up his mind, as he now had more of a happy, homicidal killer attitude towards the world instead of his usual aloof act. Whatever the reason why, he was more than happy to sit and stab at the exposed pompom of a trapped moogle with the stem of a broken wine glass. That activity was interrupted, however, when the piece of rubble he was sitting on began to move. The sprite leapt up and hovered the air, watching as a slab of concrete shifted and fell off the owner of the pompom he had been stabbing at. The moogle forced its way out of the rubble, an angry gleam in its eye. The nametag pinned to its tattered green club jacket proclaimed "Mox" in large capital letters. "Manager" was printed underneath in a smaller font.

Saïx grinned to himself evilly. From the way the moogle was looking around, its pompom a dark red in rage, Saïx had to guess that it had been the owner of the club as well as the manager. It was also most likely looking for whoever had destroyed the club, intent on wreaking some well-deserved revenge for the establishment. And violence was something that Saïx could not resist. With a snicker he flew down to the moogle's eye-level.

"Looking for someone?" Saïx asked, raising one brilliant-blue eyebrow and trying not to look as though he already knew the answer. The moogle was too distracted by its own rage to notice, and it fixed the sprite with a beady glare.

"Yeah!" It exclaimed angrily. "I'm looking for the bastard that blew up my shop!" Saïx smirked and crossed his arms and jerked a thumb at his two superiors. They were conversing in low voices and hadn't seen the moogle emerge from the rubble. "That the guy?" Saïx asked, as if he didn't already know. The change that came over the moogle was astonishing. It stared at Vexen's back for maybe two seconds before it's face contorted and it let out an angry "Kupo!" The pompom on its head was now a deep red, and with a growl it launched itself at the Nobody who had ruined its club.

Vexen had been listing intently to Xemnas' story and trying to come up with a conclusion when he was suddenly hit in the lower back with something that felt like a medium-sized dog launched out of a small cannon. He stumbled forward a few steps and almost fell before regaining his balance and whirling around to face whatever had attacked him. He was stunned to find that the culprit barely came up to his waist, though it was pretty big for a moogle. Vexen gulped as he read the moogle's nametag and saw the enraged expression on its face. Behind it Saïx could been seen floating over the rubble, the broken stem of a wine glass in one of his hands and an expectant smirk on his face. Vexen made a mental note to get back at Saïx after this.

"Yes?" Vexen asked the infuriate moogle, though he already had a good idea of what it wanted. This was confirmed when it suddenly reared back and kicked him hard in the shin. As he held his leg and hopped around in pain, it suddenly blurted out, "Compensation!"

"Excuse me?" Vexen asked, putting both feet on the ground. The moogle glared at him.

"You heard me," it said. "I want compensation for what you did to my shop!" Vexen glanced at Xemnas, who shrugged as if to say, _This is your problem. Don't bring me into it. _Vexen glared at him then turned his attention back to the moogle. "Look" he said nervously. "I don't exactly have any munny right now, so…"

Anything else Vexen was about to say was cut off as the moogle suddenly disappeared. An instant later and Vexen had also been consumed by the rapidly spreading portal that had formed while they had been talking. Xemnas and Saïx were both absorbed seconds later. Having completed its purpose, the portal began to shrink again and was gone in a moment.

---

Demyx was dead. Again.

Well, maybe he was dead again. He was definitely in Hell. The random screaming, moaning, and far-off elevator music proved it. He was also reasonably sure that the rocks digging painfully into his liver and face were a gay blue color. He didn't know for certain as his eyes were closed like the first time he had awakened in Hell. This time, though, there was something approximately the sized and weight of a medium-sized dog lying on his back and what felt like an arm gripped in his left hand. It could've been a stick or something, though. He wouldn't know for certain until he opened his eyes, though, and he did just that. Immediately he shrieked and leapt to his feet, sending whatever had been on his back flying as he dropped, no, _threw_ the thing that had been in his hand away.

"Wimp," Larxene sneered, calmly picking up her severed hand and reattaching it to the arm it had come from. Demyx stood a few feet away from her, one hand over his nonexistent heart as he stared at the female Nobody. She glanced at him irritably and Demyx noticed that she was also missing one of her eyes and a good chunk out of her face. He had to fight the urge to gag as he realized that she must have fallen apart upon arriving in Hell. This realization caused him to glance around on the ground nervously, as if he expected to find her disembodied eye staring at him from somewhere. Larxene noticed this and said in a cool voice, "Everyone else is here too." She then stalked off to the other side of the cavern.

They were indeed inside of a huge cavern that Demyx recognized as the room behind the Green Door, the one with the Lake of Fire. The lake itself was located off to his left, its surface casting a dim red glow over the entire chamber. The lifeguard station was still there, though unoccupied now. What Larxene had said finally registered, and Demyx began to scan the cave for his fellow Nobodies. He didn't have to look very hard.

Off to his left, Demyx could see Zexion engaged in a conversation with Marluxia, the blindfold having served its purpose and now hanging uselessly around his neck. Marluxia was still a girl, her face set in an angry scowl, arms crossed over her chest and shifting her weight from foot to foot in a way the clearly said that that she was uncomfortable. Larxene was making her way towards them holding something in her hand that just might've been her missing eye. As Demyx's stomach did a double backflip he shifted his focus to the other people in the chamber.

There was Vexen talking heatedly to Xemnas while a moogle in a green jacket bobbed around their legs. Close to them stood Xigbar, laughing his head off at Lexaeus, Xaldin, and Luxord. The three were sopping wet, and already standing in a conglomerate sort of puddle. By the look on Xaldin's face, however, Xigbar wouldn't be laughing for very much longer. Unless he could laugh with a spear sticking out of his throat, that is.

That left the thing that had been on Demyx's back. It was sitting a few feet away from him, a dazed look on its face as it recovered from hitting the cavern floor. It looked sort of like a cat, if a cat was about the same size as a small child and could walk upright. It was mostly covered in orange fur with a cream-colored underbelly and a mane of brilliant red hair. It had wide green eyes, marked by a small blue-green triangle under each. As soon as it cleared its head, it locked eyes with Demyx and leapt to its feet, letting out angry squeaks and shaking one pale paw at him in a surprisingly human gesture. It then turned tail and ran a few feet away on all fours, stopping next to-

"Roxas!"

Roxas' head shot up as he looked around wildly for whoever had called his name. Demyx grinned and waved, walking the short distance over to his former teammate. "Roxas!" He repeated. "It's good to see you again! I didn't think you existed anymore."

"Well what about you?" Roxas replied, raising one eyebrow. "I thought you and everyone else were dead. What happened?" Demyx shrugged. "No idea," he said. "So, how'd you escape Sora's head?"

Roxas scratched the back of his head before replying. "Actually, Axel drop-kicked Sora in the head and I appeared," he said, pointing at the furry creature standing next to him. The creature struck a proud pose and Demyx's jaw dropped.

"_That's_ Axel?" He asked, pointing at it. The fiery moomba literally smirked at him and then let out a squeaking, surprisingly superior-sounding laugh. Demyx closed his mouth and let his hand drop back to his side; it was Axel all right. Only Axel could make a squeak sound superior. Demyx wrinkled his nose as something else Roxas had said registered. "Wait, he kicked you out of Sora? How does that even work?"

"No idea," Roxas admitted as Axel shook his head. Demyx thought on it for a moment then, in true Demyx fashion, let the subject drop. It would probably be answered later anyway. Instead he shoved his hands into the hip pockets of his hoodie and grinned at Roxas. "Hey, did you know Marluxia's been turned into a girl?" He asked casually. Almost immediately the other two began to look around the cavern for their transgendered companion. As son as they spotted her, Axel began to roll on the ground with how hard he was laughing. Roxas' tried not to laugh, but he just couldn't help it. He first snorted, then broke out into laughter along with Axel and Demyx. Across the cavern, Marluxia glared in the threesome's direction. She knew they were laughing at her in her predicament, and vowed to herself that if they got out of Hell, she'd introduce all of them to the business end of a scythe.

"And Saïx is a bug."

All three stopped laughing as Vexen approached, a smirk on the scientist's face. Following close behind him was the moogle Demyx had before. It glared at the Nobodies sullenly as Vexen joined them. Vexen nodded at Demyx and then turned toward his other fellow Organization member. "It's good to see you again, Roxas," he said.

"Likewise," Roxas replied, and Axel squeaked. Instantly Vexen's attention shifted to the fiery moomba and he grinned. Not in a pleasant way either.

"Oh, hello Axel," he said, in a tone that made Axel's ears flatten. "I can tell it's you. I haven't forgiven or forgotten that you sliced me in half. You're not escaping punishment this time," Vexen finished, crossing his arms and sending the moomba a chilling glare. Demyx scratched his head in confusion. "He chopped you in half?" he asked. "When?"

"Back in Castle Oblivion," the scientist answered. "I was going to tell Sora about Roxas." This time it was Roxas who was confused.

"Where was I during this?" Roxas asked. Vexen shrugged and replied, "No idea."

Suddenly, the trio of Nobodies were distracted as a loud "Kupo!" interrupted them. It appeared as though Axel had gotten bored after Vexen's death-threat and had began investigating the moogle. Of course, the moogle wasn't very pleased with this, and had tried to bite Axel. Both Demyx and Roxas looked at it then Vexen with similarly puzzled expressions on their faces. The scientist cleared his throat nervously.

"This is Mox," he said, gesturing to the moogle. "I blew up his club and now he keep following me around."

Demyx raised an eyebrow. "You blew up a club?" Mox interrupted before Vexen could open his mouth.

"Damn right he did!" He yelled. "A quarter of a million munny down the drain with one little tube of purple goo, kupo! So now I'm gonna follow you around until you pay for the damages to my shop."

"You mean buy you a new building," Vexen intoned, earning him a glare from the moogle. With a sigh the scientist stared down at him. "Look," he said." I'm a heartless being that until recently was very dead. I'm not exactly rolling in cash over here. Go find a rich person to stalk."

Mox stared at him for a moment, then his pompom began to turn a deep red as his rage intensified. The moogle's face contorted and Demyx backed away from him nervously. Just as it looked as though the moogle might explode, he suddenly pitched forward and fell on his face. Behind him stood Axel with an innocent look on his furry face. Mox recovered quickly, jumping back up and whirling around to face the moomba. Literally snarling, he spat out, "What the hell was that for!" Axel's innocent face changed swiftly as he made a squeaking reply that Mox somehow understood.

"I was not being irrational, kupo," he returned. The moomba just squeaked and crossed its front paws in a very Axel-like way.

A bright flash of light from the other side of the Lake of Fire effectively stopped any sort of conversation in the cavern. A column of green fire had appeared, and from it stepped two vastly different figures.

The first was the lifeguard demon that both Demyx and Xigbar had seen. His white sunhat was gone, though, and a frown was set on his face. He appeared to be saying something to the other person, though it was in a voice too low to be heard by the Nobodies. It was obvious he was angry with the girl, and the second figure was indeed a girl. She had long, wavy, almost pure gold hair. Her eyes were a vivid periwinkle blue that, at that moment, were adverted to the ceiling as she ignored the lifeguard. She was wearing a dark and light blue patterned tank-top, tight black jeans, and high-top black canvas shoes that in her world were known as Converses. Around her right wrist was a dice bracelet. Pinned to her shirt was a faintly glowing tag that read "Visitor-Kenzo". Under the name was a smiley face.

As they stepped into the room, the lifeguard gestured at the collective Nobodies. "And this is why when I tell you to leave and not touch anything, you _leave_ and don't _touch anything!_" he yelled angrily. Kenzo was silent for a moment, then she blinked and looked at the lifeguard.

"Huh? I'm sorry, I wasn't listening," she said, her eyes wandering even as she spoke. Her face lit up as she caught sight of the Nobodies. Xigbar, who was standing the closest to her, began to scoot away nervously. Xaldin, Luxord, and Lexaeus had long since moved and joined their Superior. Something small with bright blue wings was flitting around Xemnas as well, and Demyx guessed that the thing was Saïx. Axel was crouched at Roxas' feet, staring with an intensity that only an animal could get away with.

"Cool!" Kenzo exclaimed. "You guys aren't dead anymore!" She glanced around the cavern. "Well, sorta. What happened to you guys?" Standing next to her, the lifeguard sighed and palmed his face.

"Girl," he started, "Do you remember the room you went into after I told you to leave?" Kenzo nodded. The lifeguard continued. "Do you remember the _red_ button you pushed?" This time Kenzo's face lit up with understanding.

"Oh! So that brought them back to life!" She exclaimed happily. Her expression shifted into puzzlement as something else occurred to her. "Wait. What did the green button do?" Wordlessly the lifeguard lifted his arm and gestured toward Marluxia. It took Kenzo a second to understand, but when she did her visage lightened again. "So the green button messed them up?" The lifeguard nodded.

It was then that Xemnas stepped forward, clearing his throat nervously. He was tired of being ignored and having his Organization talked about as though they were on display. Both the lifeguard and the teenage girl stopped talking and focused their attention on him. Hating the ridiculously high voice his body gave him, Xemnas began speaking. It was time to get things back under his control, and the first step to that was getting tall.

"I think I may understand what's going on." He said, hands behind his back. The gesture looked strange on the six-year-olds body. "It's your job to return us to whatever dimension we were being held in, correct?" Here he paused. Kenzo had wandered from the lifeguard's side, scooting closer to Xigbar. The Freeshooter would then scoot a few more inches away from her. Kenzo would scoot a little closer, Xigbar would scoot a little further away. Demyx guessed that in about fifteen minutes they would reach the other side of the cavern if they kept it up. Xemnas grinned as the lifeguard nodded, agreeing with him. "That makes me wonder. If it is your job to ensure we are returned to our own Hells, what will be _your_ punishment if we're stuck looking like this?" He finished the sentence with a flourishing sweep of his arm, another gesture that looked odd on the child. The lifeguard scratched one of his horns, then raised an eyebrow at Xemnas.

"You just want to be your normal size again, don't you?" He accused. Xemnas said nothing, merely waited. The lifeguard sighed. "Fine. Have it your way." He snapped his fingers and the Lake of Fire was momentarily extinguished. The instant everything went dark, something in the cave squealed, closely followed by a man's yelp. The Lake rekindled itself, providing light once again.

In the short time that the cavern had been completely dark, several things had happened. Demyx could see Saïx, full-sized and sitting on the ground with a pained expression on his scarred face. Near him, Xemnas was once again an adult, and on his face was possibly the most joy he had in his entire nonexistent heart. The result wasn't very impressive. Xaldin, Luxord, and Lexaeus were still wet, though, and Marluxia was still in a dress. Strangely enough, the only way Demyx could tell that the Graceful Assassin was now a boy was because he no longer had a rack. Other than that, there wasn't much of a visible difference. On Larxene the changes were more apparent, as she was now whole and stitch-free.

A slight noise from behind Demyx caused the Nobody to turn and look. Axel was standing in the exact place he had been crouching in as a moomba. With a grin he stretched his arms above his head and flexed his muscles. It was obvious he was glad to be a Nobody again. Demyx turned back around as the lifeguard began to speak. "Now that you're all fixed, you-…"he trailed off into a gurgle, and Xemnas smirked.

The lifeguard stood, one eye staring blankly with shock, the other obscured by Axel's chakram. The weapon had split his head in half, and several kunai stuck in his torso. One of Xaldin's lances was forced through his throat, effectively severing the demon's windpipe along with his vocal chords. Buried halfway into the lifeguard's side was the unmistakable blue blade of Saïx's Claymore. A dark red substance dribbled from all of the wounds. Two seconds after all of the other weapons had been launched there was the sound of a gunshot and a dark smoking hole appeared where the demon's heart would be. Xemnas looked at Xigbar, one eyebrow raised questioningly.

"What? I had to aim around _her_!" Xigbar defended himself, pointing down at Kenzo. The teenager was hugging him around the waist happily, and Demyx guessed that it was Xigbar who had yelled when the cave had gone dark. It made sense, anyway. Behind him, Axel yawned and scratched his head. "Now what?" he asked. All of the Nobodies looked at one another, then their Superior for an answer. The demon had melted in to a puddle of dark goo.

Meanwhile, Kenzo disengaged herself from Xigbar and decided to wander over in Saïx's direction. The Lunar Diviner saw her approaching him and, in an animalistic fashion, summoned his Claymore and all but growled at her. The taffy yellow scarf he had confiscated as a sprite was still around his neck, having increased in size when he did. Kenzo stopped a few feet away, a grin plastered to her face.

"Wow, your hair is so freakin' _blue!_ Is that natural? Where'd you get that dumb-looking scar on your face? Hmm? _Hmm?_" Xigbar began laughing as Saïx's face convulsed in a super twitch. Wordlessly he raised his Claymore, earning a quirked eyebrow from his soon-to-be victim. "What are you gonna do with that big Popsicle stick?" She asked smugly. The smug look fell from her face when the blades emerged from the end of the weapon with a sharp metallic sound. Saïx grinned menacingly.

"_What_ was that about my hair?" he snarled. Kenzo made a sort of high-pitched squeaking noise before returning to her position around Xigbar's waist. Xigbar glared at Saïx.

"Thanks a lot," he muttered. Saïx just waved a hand at him in a dismissive gesture, eliciting a growl from the Freeshooter. Axel laughed at the both of them. It was good to be a nonexistent again.

"What the hell happened here?"

For the second time in a few minutes, all present turned towards the sound of an unfamiliar voice. This time there was no flashy pillars of fire, though. Instead the figure almost seemed to have spontaneously appeared out of thin air, although judging by the Nobodies' recent lack of an attention span it could have just as easily walked in and been just as easily unnoticed. The figure was tall and impossibly thin, with a pair of tightly curled horns and blank, disdainful red eyes. Though it showed no outward signs of gender, it seemed to be male. It was also floating very slightly, as instead of feet it just sort of trailed off into a black, roiling, cloud-like thing, very reminiscent of the form some Heartless took before becoming solid. In any case, it certainly seemed to fit the definition of a devil better then the lifeguard had.

The devil floated over to the cluster of Nobodies, letting out a sigh as it caught sight of the gooey remains of the lifeguard. "There goes another one. I swear, we loose more tour guides in this sector than anywhere else," the devil said. Its voice held a note of superiority that suggested the devil was used to ordering people around. It then turned to acknowledge the presence of the Nobodies.

"I am Señor Satan," it said flatly, "I am the one in charge of this particular version of Purgatory, and all of its damned. I am also here to escort _all_ of you out. You've caused me enough of a headache for one day." Señor Satan fixed Kenzo with a look on the word "all", and the teenager ducked back behind Xigbar for a moment. She was still oddly exited for some reason, though. Luxord scratched his head in confusion for a moment.

"Wait, so you're the Devil?" he asked. Satan scoffed.

"Not hardly, no. But I am the only Devil you should concern yourself with," he said. The statement confused Demyx, but before he could say anything Larxene interrupted him.

"If you're in charge here, who was that guy?" she asked, pointing to the pile of red goo behind Satan. The demon glanced backwards at it unfeelingly.

"Just a tour guide, nothing more," he said bluntly. Larxene dropped her arm and shrugged; she could accept that answer. It was Xigbar that spoke up next, trying desperately to pull Kenzo off of his ribs.

"You said something about leaving, right? Can we do that _now_?" He snapped. Señor Satan nodded and began walk/floating over to the large stone doors that marked the cavern's one and only exit. The Nobodies fell in line behind him. Suddenly Vexen stopped and said "Wait." The Organization obliged, though Marluxia was glaring at the scientist for delaying him a change of clothes. Vexen just grinned malevolently and turned around.

Mox was standing behind him. The moogle wore an expression of determination, and it was clear that he wasn't going to leave Vexen alone any time soon. Still, the Nobody gave him one last chance.

"This is last time I'm going to ask you to go away," he said. The moogle just snorted and stared unblinkingly up at him.

"Are you nuts, kupo? I'm not going anywhere until I get a new building! And there's nothing you can do about it, kupo!" Mox yelled. Vexen sighed.

"Correction," he said. "I _can_ do something about it." With that he took hold of the moogle's pompom with both hands. Holding on to it despite the creature's struggling, he whirled around twice and then let go. Mox flew up in to the air, then with an almost sickening _crack_, hit a stalactite. The moogle slowly slid down the rock formation and completed the journey to his destination: the Lake of Fire.

As the moogle's agonized cries faded the group neared the giant stone doors. They swung open, revealing a huge portal on the other side. Satan stopped to explain. "This portal will take you to whatever world you originally came from. It's too much trouble to kill you all again. Or for the first time in your case," he said, directing the statement at Kenzo. The teenager shrugged before stepping forward and jumping into the portal. The Nobodies clustered at the edge of the portal before Xemnas took the first step forward. After that, they all followed him.

Demyx was the last to enter the portal. As he went to step in, he thought he heard something. He wasn't completely sure, but it sounded like a girl's voice.

"The end, dammit! Finally!"

* * *

"Was that everyone? I hope that was everyone. Let's go, I'm hungry!" Purple

This chapter marks the end of the first fic I have completed that was longer than 2 chapters. Which is pretty pathetic, considering the fact I've been here for four years. That quote by Purple is me hoping I didn't leave any loose ends.

Yes, this is the final chapter of It's Funnier the Second Time. There might be one more chapter; a credit reel for everyone who has helped me, thank you for all of the reviews Funnier has received, and credit for all of the stuff I took. Heh. It won't forward the story any, so you don't have to read it.

Here, though, I would like to say thank you to everyone that has read and reviewed this fic. Sometimes, the reviews were all that were keeping me focused enough to finish a chapter. I hope you enjoyed this fic as much as I enjoyed thinking it up and writing it. I could not have done it without all of you. -bows-

I LOVE YOU ALL!


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